Ahhhhhh!!!!! Thanks, I needed that.
I just recieved a phonecall from Pastor Eldon to schedule a meeting with the project manager among others for Wednesday evening. THIS WEDNESDAY THEY COME! OF THIS WEEK! 2 DAYS AWAY!
Breathe, breathe... I don't know whether to hide under a rock for what they are about to see or do a little reno dance with them. I don't know how to thank them. I don't know how to allow myself to fall into a place where I just release my "I don't care about this place' attitude of late and really start feeling the process.
You know what this feels like? It feels like they're all coming over to give me a hug. Someone out there is caring about our needs and it feels like a big ol' bear hug.
When you have no spouse, or no others really living with you totally understanding what you truely are going through on your own, you don't often get hugs, or hear about them. Except kid hugs around your knees of course, aren't they cool?. But there are other kinds of hugs I'm referring to.
Hugs to me come in the way of emotional support. There's a team of wonderful folks whom I've never met in my life, EAGER to help. ME. I ask why. Many times a day.
I've done alot of self analization of late since this whole project came about, and it appears that my love language is, someone just being there for me, including me, wanting me around, wanting to help if I need it. I have some great friends whom I just know I'm always welcome, but sometimes you just need a little visual or verbal proof, ya know? My door will be knocked on with a team of very excited folks wanting to give me 'the hug' I sooooo have missed for a very long time.
That in itself, makes me more emotional than the reno aspect. They don't truely know what my story is. Yet, they've put total faith in my neighbour's nomination, and that was enough for them. That's it! I wasn't thrown a survey to jot down what level my present needs were at, they just had faith they chose someone that needed this in more ways than one.
I saw a flick of Extreme Home Editon and Oprah's Big Give yesterday. Honestly? I had to turn the channel. I looked at those individuals and felt for them. Now there are some real needs! Physical issues, deaths, natural disasters, you get the idea.
I've been prepped by many now to simply allow this to happen. To accept the gift, because there are others out there that want to help ME. We all have stories, I truely believe that and one story isn't less important than the other. But it's hard to accept this when you watch the media and see what else is going on.
I was in Shoppers over the weekend and noticed a lady looking at a protein drink. I approached her and asked, "Is this stuff any good?" I had been debating on a similar suppliment for my son.
She replied, "Well my daughter drinks it so I'm happy if she's happy!" And then she proceeded to tell me about why her daughter required it. Apparently her daughter had fainted, fell and broke her jaw, so it had to be wired up. Now they had to fix the jaw, help her to eat AND figure out why she fainted.
Her future even overwhelmed me. I stood and listened. I didn't quite know what to do. I thought for a moment, and said what I needed to say to her. "I'm going to pray for your daughter." I watched her reaction. She turned to me with a brightness in her eyes and said, "Oh thank-you! Many are praying for her! Bless you!"
I guess in a round about way, I gave one of those hugs that I so desire from time to time. Just knowing someone cares enough to send thoughts or prayers your way. I was so happy I could offer that to a total stranger and it was accepted just that way.
I love the pay-it-forward aspect of life. When you are being blessed with something, it fullfills you to a point where you crave to give give give because it feels so good!
So, keeping that in mind, my heart is smiling because others out there care enough to hear my story and share a little bit of my life with me. And help me get back up on my feet so I can stand even taller. And in return, I continue to look around me offering others those kinds of hugs right back!
The recieved hugs are heartwarming to say the least. But those pay-it-forward hugs are the best kind of all!